This is just to vent. I need it.. God save me, I need to vent.
My parents came down this weekend to take Shara to the SFU (Simon Fraser University) open house. Well, she was completely uninterested in it b/c she has her heart set on going to the Art Institute of Vancouver (though she refuses to admit it) which is a private college that costs $47,000 for a year and a half and all you get is a diploma; which my parents have already told her - they are NOT sending her too because it's too expensive and is not unlike Sprott Shaw or any other private facility; i.e. it's crap.
It took a while to find the contempary art display and they talked to the guy there about film and yadd yadda, what she needs etc. We then had to go back out to the main area outside where they were playing live band (reeaaallyy loud music) and talk to the admissions woman (the tent was right by the live band so you couldn't hear a word she said) about what Shara would need to apply for the film department. We figured out that if her Math 11 and English 12 weren't at 60% grade or better she would need to upgrade.
So then, it was almost 4 pm and the open house ended around 4 so we left to go get something to eat. On the way, we were talking to her about SFU and what they said. If her math and english aren't at 60% she has to go to TRU (TRU is in her home town) to upgrade. Well, she doesn't want to do that. She doesn't want to take that long to get what she wants. She kept saying that SFU is the only university we looked at and they're all different. No they're not.
We kept trying to tell her that no matter what university you go to, they'll all want the 60% grade in math and English, that's just how it is. So of course, she said 'well, I know one that doesn't want anything'.. which she was meaning the Art Institute. Yea, we said, they don' want anything but $47,000 for a year and a half. So then she's irked.
We get to Roman's, this little Italian place and she's arguing and we're talking about SFU and the course and etc. Then she pulls out with "Well, I kinda wanted to look around at the other options SFU had" when, up until now, she wanted NOTHING to do with any other course aside from video production and film making. Nothing else interested her and she made it very clear before hand. But now she was mad because she saw the display for archeaology and anthropology and she wanted to check it out but she didn't say that when she saw it.
So now she's pissed off at that and mom felt upset because she was kind of the leader of the day getting Shara to the area she wanted to go to. So she felt, you know, taken for granted. Anyways, then we kept talking about schooling and Shara kept saying she doesn't want to spend 6 years, 2 years upgrading, 4 years in the film courses, to get where she wants to go. She doesn't want to spend that long doing something in other words, she wants to take the easy way out.
So we told her that good things take time; if you rush into something you will lose out in the end and it's better to take your time. at least if she's in an actual university and she decides 8 months in that she doesn't like it, she could transfer to other studies. In a private college, you can't do that and youre paying almost double.
Every time I opened my mouth to say something, she kept giving me these looks that said 'shut the fuck up' or 'what the fuck do you know" and ignored me. So I was like 'fine, whatever'. Dinner went fine after we left the topic of school b/c she just won't listen. She has her heart set on taking the easy way out of something and she's done that all her life.
Anyways, we came home, watched the hockey game and all that. They went to bed. I slept on the couch and mom got up at like 6 a.m. Because I forgot to put the coffee out for her and all that and she couldn't reach it, she went to Tim Hortons and had a muffin and some coffee. Then dad gets up at 8 and they have a little squabble about dad training Maggie. He gets pissed off and starts smacking her with his hat (Maggie, not mom); well of course she wont come back to him
They didn't fight too bad and went out for breakfast at 8:30. They asked if I wanted to come but.. fuck it's 8;30.. I have to work in the evening so I said no.. I wanted sleeeep.
I slept until they got back at 9:30.. then I got up and gathered all my laundry and took it over to the laundromat. I was going to go to Dennys for breakfast and they'd meet me but it was too busy there so I went home before they took Zoe to Petsmart to get her clipped.
We went to Petsmart. I had to a get a new wheel for my hamster anyways and while we're there mom and I got into a little argument about how to train zoe to heel. Mom was taking the lead and swinging it in a loop, not hitting her but enough that if zoe walked into it she'd hit it. So I was going 'well yea, of course she's going to stay close when you have the leash real tight and she heels fine for me'. so mom got upset and said 'fine, you try'. I took zoe and she did heel for a bit but of course, mom goes 'that's not heeling' etc. etc even though the leash was slack in my hands and she was at my heel.
Anyways. She goes on and on about teaching the dog to heel and I kept going 'all right.. ok.. ya I get it".. not really wanting to go too into it. So we left, dad wanted to take Maggie for a quick walk to see how she would walk on a leash so I went to my car to read a book until he got back.
Meanwhile, mom starts bawling her eyes out in their car and when dad comes back he comes over and asks what I want to do.
I asked why she's crying. He said she was just frustrated and blah blah.. I get pissed off because he said she's mad at me for being mad at her and getting in an argument. I said we weren't in an argument and there's no need for her to get upset.
So anyways, I said I didn't know what I wanted to do. I wasn't hungry anymore so he went back to the car and asked mom what she wanted, she, of course, said 'i don't care what we do' so now dad's pissed off. I said 'i have to check my laundry soon and i have to go to work' I was crying by now, I floored it and went home even though dad was trying to calm me down.
I figured, fine.. I dont want to go to work tonight anyways. I e-mailed my boss, said I wasn't coming in. When they got back I told them.. look we can do whatever you want.. I don't have to go to work.. i just took it off. Now dad's upset with me because I took a sick day (I'm actually not feeling the best anyways) and mom's crying still so we all ended up getting into it
Mom said she didn't even WANT to come down here this weekend because she has so much house work to do at home. I told her, "I told you, send Shara on the bus and I'd take her to the SFU thing. You guys didn't have to come down" then she goes "I told dad that but he said 'no, we'll all go'".. and dad's going "I didn't know you didn't want to come down, no one said that to me!"
Mom's going 'yes I did tell you, i have stuff to do because you don't want to do the work so we can sell.. i want to sell the house.. we've agreed to it.. i have to do the work because you obviously don't want to and we had to come down because you didn't want to put Shara on a bus and I don't know why we even took her to SFU because she was completely uninterested' and now shara's yelling 'i wanted to go.. but i wanted to see other things too - not just film! maybe i should just keep my damn mouth shut then!?"and then it goes back and forth about how dad does this and how shara was making mom feel bad and how it all culminated when I got in a bit of an argument with mom over Zoe, who had a massive fucking seizure last night.
So we're arguing, everyone's crying.. dad's trying not to.. I finally freaked and said "i cant fucking take this. every time you all come down or i go up there, you fight. you're at each others throats and i cant take it anymore" and dads going "ok.. ok.. I know.. ya.." not saying much else. I got pssy said I had to go check my laundry and took off.
When I came back, they were packing up the car. I said 'you know, i don't know why you're leaving now, you won't get shit done when you get home you'll be too tired'.. dad's sitting behind mom waving his hands and shaking his head while she rolls her eyes and goes 'fine.. what do you want to do Larry?" and dad goes "We're going home... " so mom goes "See? We're going home"..
I said fine.. whatever.. went to my room and slammed the door to have a good cry. Dad came in and tried to calm me down.. but he ended up making me mad anyways by continually bitching about how he has to do all the house work and mom will just bitch and moan about it but I didn't say anything.. enough fighting for one day
Then mom comes in and gives me a hug, says she loves me, but it's a weak hug b/c she's still mad at me. So whatever. Then they leave.. mom would hardly look at me.
I seriously think mom needs to go back to the doctor and talk about how every little thing seems to set her off and she gets upset over everything. Lord knows she's been on Prozac for over 18 years on the same dosage to chances are VERY good it's lost its effectiveness but if I said anything to her, she wouldn't believe me OR get mad.
All in all, one shitty weekend.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
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